Emotional Money Ditching is when your client’s money issues suddenly become yours, leaving you feeling guilty for asking money from them.
Let’s say your client is late paying you. They are explaining their problems. Despite the fact that YOU want to get paid you get so drawn into understanding THEIR problem that you focus on getting them to feel better. At the end of the conversation you find yourself without a clear payment plan.
Or you have a client that tells you how much they need you, and at the same time they explain how tight their money situation is. You want them to feel better so you work with them. At the end of the session they talk about everything that now is possible for them to achieve. Instead of feeling pure joy and delight, you feel resentful and undervalued.
These scenarios may differ, but the Emotional Money Ditching is there. You’re a victim if you feel any of the following:
- You have to rescue someone financially.
- Undervalued after having talked to a client.
- You know less than your partner in a money discussion.
- Helpless after listening to someone’s money story.
- Guilty for charging for your services.
- You are charging too much when someone complains about their money.
Just because someone has an unexpected or tight money situation does not make them a bad or irresponsible person – it can happen to anyone. Emotional Money Ditching is always a question of taking a healthy responsibility and setting clear boundaries. It seldom has to do with money itself.
Ask yourself the following:
- Whose problem is it? The first thing you have to do is to look squarely at the situation. If a client wants to work with you and cannot pay for your services it is THEIR situation and problem – not yours.
- Practice Compassionate Detachment – You can listen with compassion and choose not to get emotionally hooked. Keep an unbiased focus and decide what you want your outcome to be.
- Empower the counterpart – Often people with money issues see themselves as powerless. You never empower someone by confirming them as being victims. Look for a way to establish a clear commitment and 100% responsibility from both parties.
When faced with an Emotional Money Ditching situation, use this script to act compassionately and still create a clear outcome:
“I hear that this is a tough situation. What would you like me to do?”
Your client will most likely say “Nothing” which opens up for the next question –
“What actions are you willing to take to solve this situation as quickly as possible?”
By modeling what it looks and sounds like to be authentic, compassionate, and in your power; you help your client or friend to stand in theirs. Instead of being harsh or resentful you create a new, energetic space to step into with an opportunity for breakthrough for both of you.